This is hard for me to write, because I have mixed feelings. Going home can be very emotional, and this was my first trip back to Chicago in five years. I have to admit, the trip turned out better than I initially anticipated, but it was in many ways stressful.
Adding to the stress was my mother's death in July. Because I hadn't spoken to her often in the last 10 years, I was at first numb. I didn't feel sadness or guilt the way I did when my father died. I felt nothing. But then I had to go to her condo in Chicago and everything changed. Suddenly, I was feeling pain, anger and grief. I went to her place four times during the 17 days we were in Chicago, and each time my feelings deepened.
I was also worried about what my aunts and cousins would say to Larissa, who drove to Chicago from Bozeman with her dog Wolfy, and me. I didn't know how they felt about our estranged relationship with our mother. It turned out that they were very understanding and supportive. At the family reunion that my cousin Christy hosted, everyone was so nice. I was a little timid at first, but it was so nice seeing everyone. This sounds cliche, but I felt so comfortable talking to my family as if we talked everyday. It felt as if we were still as close as we were when we were young and running around Wisconsin Dells. I'm glad my cousin and her husband decided to throw this party.
Bob's sister also threw a party, so we had two family reunions, and we visited many of our friends, but we weren't able to see everyone, not in 17 days. We did manage to find some time to do touristy things,
like Great America (Batman--best roller coaster I've ever ridden),
Michigan to see the boys' cousins,
Adler Planetarium, Shedd Aquarium, Buckingham Fountain,
the Field Museum,
and the Sears (now Willis) Tower with their new Skydecks--glass-enclosed viewing platforms, including transparent floors. Looking through the glass floors made me so nervous that I developed a tension headache. The boys were very cautious about walking out onto the decks too, even Philip who at 2-years-old jumped onto the glass floor at the CN Tower in Toronto.
We enjoyed our trip to Chicago, and I hope to return sooner than five years, especially since the boys really miss their grandparents, but I can't say that I miss living there. We spent a lot of time in the car, not only because of the distances between city and suburbs but because of traffic too. Although it was a fun trip, I was so happy to come home to Erlangen.
